Getting back to the fun!
The everyday trials and tribulations we all face are not uncommon, but they can seem easier to deal with if working with a person who is close to us and who understands and shares our values and aims.
Our closest relationships should be built on trust, intimacy and mutual respect, when this deteriorates or is just not there then the health and well-being of the both relationship and of those involved begins to suffer.
Many things can lead to problems within relationships including external problems, a lack of sex and intimacy, betrayal and a breakdown of trust. One partner suffering from depression or disappointment within the relationship, one partner being too controlling. Jealousy, work related stress and money worries or changes in life circumstances like moving to a new area, children leaving home or the birth of a new baby.
Unresolved issues are one of the biggest predictors of relationships failing. But why do issues remain unresolved, after all you have agreed to share your life with this person?
A lack of effort within the relationship or taking the partner for granted is often a problem. Re-focussing on dreams and aspirations that you shared when you began your relationship is vital. Hopes and dreams change as we go along so it is important to reconfirm your commitment to your aspirations and check how things have evolved within your relationship. Often people forget to discuss how ideas and plans have changed, and this can lead to couples inadvertently singing from different song sheets. Really listening to your partner rather than assuming you know what they think can make things much more accurate and a lot of things clearer.
Avoidance is a major factor in the break down of relationships, the mistaken idea that if nothing is said then it will avoid hurt feelings, confrontation and rows. The ability to recognise that it can be healthy to disagree over some issues is very important. Some people believe that conflict is an indication that a relationship is not healthy. Yet conflict itself does not indicate that a relationship is not going well; rather it is how the partners resolve conflict and maybe agree to disagree or to find common ground that determines if the relationship is healthy or not.
What avoidance leads to is resentment and unhappiness. It becomes more and more difficult to talk things over, over time a distance and awkwardness begins to emerge and people become more remote from one another and then communication becomes even more difficult.
Finally things may become unbearable, and love is replaced with anger or resentment. Major arguments and even violence can develop, born of frustration and now with the prospect of resolution becoming more remote.
It is now important to get the help you both need to get relationships back on an even keel so relationship or couples counselling can be a really good place to begin. In a completely safe and neutral, non-judgemental environment communication can begin again and things begin to seem easier as communication channels open, issues important to you and the health of your partnership can be talked over and different solutions considered. The certainty is that getting together is probably long overdue, so make the move today and get in touch for an appointment.
Message from a client: This has been a turbulent time for me, and your guidance has been invaluable in helping me make sense of my life and find renewed clarity and purpose I am confident I can now move forward in control.